Softcore Reviews

I used to think that Torchlight came up with their titles via a random title generator. I’m still not sure. Sometimes I think they come up with the titles of their DVDs only after they finish filming them. Other times I think they come up with a title and then decide to shoot a film around it. In this case it must be the latter. Sheila and Shanna are pretty much asleep in bed for the whole movie. Every once in a while they get up and go have sex with somebody. Then they go right back to bed. It’s not so much a sleepover as it is a sleep-through. Billions and billions served?

Courtney (Frankie Dashwood) has a special game in store for her sexy girlfriends Rachel Elizabeth and TJ Hart. The game, as played by Courtney’s rules, involves rolling dice, pulling cards out of a deck, and then either admitting to a particular fantasy or getting naked, depending on the outcome of the dice roll. I admit that my understanding of Courtney’s rules is about as extensive as my understanding of Pai Gow, but unlike most Asian casino games, Courtney’s game involves hot chicks getting naked so I’m not going to fuss over the details…

The super-sexy Rachel Elizabeth features in this half-comp, half-new DVD as some sort of professorial type, complete with appropriate glasses, who introduces each film clip with some sort of detail on how to educate a coed. Apparently she read the title of the movie. Her suggestions usually involve getting the coed nude, so I can’t really complain about this school’s curriculum…

The theme here is Nicole Oring, Nicole Oring, and more Nicole Oring. She plays a groupie who wakes up with a guy who she doesn’t recognize from the night before. He insists he’s the drummer in the band, but she’s not so sure; the drummer has to prove that he’s the guy she picked up the night before by having sex with her. I like this logic…

I think the titles of DVDs sold by Torchlight Pictures are created by a random title generator. Since there’s usually a bare minimum of plot, the titles rarely have much to go on. In this one there are Hotties, but don’t expect them to be Hopping from Bar to Bar. But, I assure you, even if you missed Bar Hopping Hotties 1, you’ll still be able to pick up the plot in this one…