SpiderBabe

Rating:
Released: 2003 Seduction Cinema
Starring: Misty Mundae, Julian Wells, Darian Caine, Shelby Taylor
Directed by: Johnny Crash
IMDb

Seduction Cinema’s big-time follow-up to Playmate of the Apes and Lord of the G-Strings is a take-off on Spiderman, and it’s probably the best of all of them.

Misty Mundae plays Patricia Porker, nerdy young scholar in a sexy schoolgirl outfit (yet another failed attempt at making the star look geeky and undesirable. Nope – still hot!). Patricia finds herself bitten by a radioactive spider, and voila, suddenly she’s fighting crime on the streets of New York. “SpiderBabe, you’re my hero,” says one of her rescuees. “What can I do to repay you?” At this point, SpiderBabe hits on a pretty fab system of barter for her services: she saves your life, then you make out with her.

I think more superheroes should adopt this system. I’m sure lots of people would enjoy copping a feel of Wonder Woman, for instance; me, I’d put myself in danger just so Black Canary could straddle me in those sexy fishnets. Or Kitty Pryde! Meowww! Where was I? Oh yeah. There’s a villain in the form of Femtilian, played by a very sexy Julian Wells who is or maybe isn’t the sister of SpiderBabe’s best friend, played by Darian Caine; I didn’t really quite understand the intricacies of the plot. Lord knows there isn’t a quiz, so it doesn’t matter. In the end, SpiderBabe faces her foe and all is right with the world. Except that she kills off her love interest (Adam Cox, looking like an actor gone AWOL from the cast of Veronica Mars), but who’s counting?

There’s a couple nice sex scenes, most of which have little to do with the plot. Although, mind you, since it’s a Seduction Cinema flick, “sex” means lesbian grope sessions, no more, no less. First and foremost among these is a hot scene between Misty, Darian Caine, and a bucket of ice cubes. I also enjoyed a wrestling match between Misty and Shelby Taylor. In the very un-fetishy world of softcore, that almost counts as one. I figure cosplay fans will get a kick out of this movie as well.

They shot the film in New Jersey and New York. There are some fun shots of Misty hopping around Times Square in her super-cute SpiderBabe outfit, to the amusement of on-lookers. The script is pretty good – I actually laughed at a few things, and their take on the famous upside-down kiss from Spiderman is a hoot. This is about as professional as Seduction gets, though the sound left a lot to be desired.

All in all, it’s a fun film.