Hot Vampire Nights

by Brian

"...and in Miami, the night brings limos, parties, girls...and vampires."

Sorry, what was that last one? Vampires? I guess that's ok, seeing as how the vampire in this flick is our favorite kind of deadly seductress: the Lesbian Nympho Vampire. 

There's no point in even trying to pretend that there is a story here, or that any of the characters have more presence than an electrical outlet sitting in a wall. But there are bucketloads of explicit lesbian sex here that more than compensate for the stylistic shortcomings.

Shelly Jones, who has gone from modelling for Playboy to doing hardcore sex (such as in the Vivid film, Roomates) stars as Nina, a vampire who satisifes her carnal cravings by preying on unsuspecting women in their showers, beds, and hot tubs.

The poor victims strip naked and are starting to enjoy their own bodies in intimate privacy -- as softcore women are bound by duty to do -- when suddenly there's Nina, dressed in black panties and a sheer cloak, looking like she's about to be blown backwards by the huge fan they have blowing on her from offscreen. Of course there are no screams, no "Who the hell are you? Get the hell out of my bathroom!"

Instead (because this is after all, Seduction Cinema, lesbo connoisseurs par excellence ) they are immediately seduced by the sexy vampire and thankfully, there is no violence shown at the conclusion. We are left to simply enjoy vignette after vignette of softcore girl/girl encounters.

There is plenty of explicit nudity in this film, but the soft lighting or camera filters that they used make it almost hard to see. I found myself sometimes squinting, trying to focus on the screen, but you can still see that a full buffet has been laid out on the table. The majority of oral sex here was done for real. Either that or they have the simulation thing down like nobody's business.

There is a scene with Shelly and Allegra in a tub where Shelly is standing, legs open, with one leg raised on the edge of the tub, and Allegra's mouth is right on it. You can see the tongue licking, and it doesn't look fake to these jaded, experienced eyes. Several times you find yourself asking, "Did she just...?" I would have to say that yes, she did . There is also a copious amount of nipple biting and sucking, and lots of tongue kissing (with piercings).

Biggest complaints? Choppy editing that had no continuity, for one. First she's going down, then she's back up, then she's flipped on her back, then she's kissing, then she's going back down. Geez Louise, make up your mind already! They get into position and you're getting ready for the angle switch, hoping to see some more, but the next edit takes you to another position, and this is disorientating and frustrating to our little brain who has to struggle in order to hold it all together.

Plus, the music was so sloooowwwww, with a piano and saxophone score that sounded like a jazz musician on Quaaludes. I guess it beats the wailing guitar that we usually hear and more or less suits the atmoshere of the film, but it still has a tendency to slow your quickening heartbeat a little.

So despite the fact that we've seen better acting ability from sock puppets and the atmospheric lighting was hard on the eyes, we have to say that this one is worth a look because it is chock full of skin and smut and will raise the pulse of anyone who is still living...and anyone who might happen to consider themselves "undead".