The Girl Who Shagged Me

Reviewed by Fuggy

It took two countries to make this one, sort of like the Concorde, with much the same result. Seduction goes across the pond to feature more childish behavior, bad acting, flat jokes, guys in gorilla costumes (oh, pardon me mate, this time it's a Yeti), and, as an afterthought, an occasional naked chick.

As near as I can tell, the plot revolves around an scientist who finds the Goddess of Lust, who's been frozen in the highlands of Scotland for 10,000 years. She is played by occasional Seduction star Anoushka. Apparently during that historical era, Scotland was populated by Picts, Celts, and statuesque blonde Polish women. Of course, hot cave girls are a common element of softcore films, and I welcome their continual participation in the genre. But for some reason, Anoushka's the bad guy in this movie, and most of the short run-time of the film involves a bunch of bumbling Brits trying to stop her from doing, I don't know, something or other.

Apparently, they have to stop the Goddess of Lust from turning all of the women of the world into lesbians. I fail to see what the problem is here. This sounds like a perfectly fine plan to me. You almost have to root for Anoushka just because when she's on screen it keeps these incredibly unfunny British male actors off it.

The Brits budgeted slightly more than the usual Seduction pin money on filming, not the least of which was spent on shipping Misty Mundae overseas. They rented planes, and camels, and shot in the mountains and on the beach. (Below is a screencap of one of the few funny jokes, showing that even the most well-funded budget has its limits.) Much of the movie was shot in Lancashire, and the plot of the movie ably showcases those four thousand holes that John Lennon once sang about. Ooh snap! A Beatles burn!

Misty has a tiny role, or two. She's an MI-5 agent, and she plays "Hannibal Lecher" in a Silence of the Lambs parody scene that's grafted in for no apparent reason. Her appearance in the movie comes and goes as often as her British accent. Luckily, there's a masturbation scene, and then later on she continues the inevitable Seduction Cinema tradition with a standing-up lesbian grope session with Anoushka.

In the version we reviewed there's almost no sex or nudity at all. Shame on Seduction Cinema for sending us the R-rated version to review. What's the point? I'm not watching this movie for the plot, am I? No, I'm watching it for the nudity, of course. So, yes, please! Sell me a version of the film that has almost nothing of what I'm looking for!

STILLS - Click for larger image

Click here to watch the Unrated "Super-Sex" Edition Online in the Softcore Reviews VOD Theater