Emmanuelle in Space: Vols 1-7

by Brian

I've lumped all of these together into one review because really there is not much difference between them; all have the same performers and pretty much the same style, so to see one is to see them all.

The first volume of this series, Queen of the Galaxy, was released in 1999 as the heavily mutilated First Contact, which everyone will tell you is a waste of your time and money. Our laserdisc series came imported  from Asia in the original 90 minute movie format (including Cantonese subtitles).

First of all, this series is supposedly uncut and features more footage than was shown on Cinemax (they edited the entire 7-parts into several 30 minute television episodes and called it Emmanuelle in Space ). The question is: was anything of "value" left on the cutting room floor? The answer, sadly, is no. There is nothing in the uncut versions that you couldn't see on Cinemax any night of the week. In fact, most of the time there is less.

But we do want to be perfectly honest here...there is enough Krista Allen flesh on display in these flicks to satisfy anyone who has appreciated her voluptuous shape on Baywatch Hawaii, Days of Our Lives, and in that eye-popping elevator scene from Liar, Liar. The movies themselves are pure dreck, with unexciting sex scenes and the worst realism we've seen since guys humped the girls with their pants on. But hey, everytime Miss Allen came onscreen the lights flickered in my living room. She is totally, unabashedly, smokingly HOT. And she is the only reason to even consider watching these flicks.

The editing and camera work is disorientating, with the ol' circle around the lovers and make the viewer dizzy trick that drives me nuts. We're supposed to be getting excited but we end up feeling the need to spew. Ugh. Add a drippy musical soundtrack and you have every reason you need in order to justify fast forwarding the whole way through. That and the fact that every scene with potential either ended abruptly or was polluted with "cinematic techniques" that cooled any heat being created. Over and over again we were treated to performers hugging and cuddling but not really doing much of anything else.

Oh sure, there's a few nuggets in there (the bathtub scenes in Vol. 4 were nice), but not enough to justify the hype. I'm pissed off at these movies. Take a babe who can cure impotence in a dead man and add lousy directing, crappy editing, and a laughable script, and you have seven volumes of Wasted Opportunity. No wonder Krista didn't want these movies to surface over here! They would've caused an earthquake with these if they'd only taken the time to make something truly erotic. Good luck getting Krista to do this stuff now!

Sorry. I really wanted to like these more. That's not to say that there isn't anything to watch here, but man, hold on to your wallets and think carefully. That's all I'm saying.

If you're a guy who hasn't made his bones on the old Shannon Whirry and Shannon Tweed stuff you might get a charge out of these. But if you've been viewing softcore for a few years and actually require more than just a gorgeous naked body to get your thrills, approach these with caution. And you should note that the VCD version of the series has a somewhat grainy appearance and comes with 3D glasses for viewing the special 3D inserts. The laserdiscs are much better in visual quality and do not require any special glasses for viewing.

Volume 2, A World of Desire , will be released in North America on April 24, so lets wait and see if they took it back to the editing table and came out with something decent. Out of all the volumes, this one and Volume 4 were my favorites. But I've got to admit, despite some of the boring sex scenes, that Krista looks damn hot!