Dracula's Dirty Daughter

Reviewed by fuggy

A frustrating film. The plot is this. A lesbian vampire comes to town looking for her soul mate. She acts evil and bitchy and ends up eating everybody. Hmm. I feel like I just reviewed this. Oh wait, I did, and it was called My Vampire Lover.  And that one was better.

I'll give it this...at least all the actresses are hot. They can't act, of course, but neither can anybody else in the movie. Apparently, this was shot in and around Wayne State University in Detroit. I guess they don't have a drama department there.

I know this seems like a weird complaint considering that I just said the actresses are hot, but the sex scenes are painful and go on way too long. They all take place in ultra slo-mo, and in all the wrong places. It takes five minutes just for a bra to come off. Then two people kiss for 10 minutes. Whee. And at the moment when the bottoms come off, END SCENE. Wha? The whole movie calls out for fast forwarding. Or total avoidance. At one point, I couldn't forward fast enough. Even at double speed it was too slow!

Hence the frustration. The first scene got my hopes up because a girl started licking another girl on the panties (in a scene that doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the movie). But that was it. I would've liked to see these hot actresses doing something, anything interesting. If you love seeing tepid foreplay, then you're all set.