Well, let’s face it—this ain’t exactly rocket science. But we do feel that a movie that purports to be erotic should at least have something erotic about it, or at least make some sort of a decent effort to arouse our senses (among other things).
Softcore movies, and the sub-genres that fall under that umbrella (such as erotic thrillers, erotic sci-fi, bikini babes, sexploitation, specialty tease, etc) are usually not meant to be consumed or criticized as so-called “serious” film. They are mostly made to titillate, arouse, and as an excuse to get attractive people naked and dry-humping while guitar solos wail in the background. But we do think the genre has some true talent on both sides of the camera, and many titles do indeed rise above average standards.
We critique a softcore erotic movie based on our overall opinion of its sensual and psychological appeal. Elements such as nudity, fantasy, fetish and erotic themes all play a role, as do realistic and enthusiastic performances, creative camera work, effective direction, and decent production values. For example, when you watch an action movie, the viewer should be able to suspend their belief and actually think that what they are seeing is actually happening. Erotica, too, should also aspire to create the illusion of real passion and lovemaking.
If all of these elements can lend themselves well to an interesting story and character development, then even better. But we hardly care about that stuff when Lorissa strips down to her g-string panties and starts rubbing herself. I mean, c’mon!
So here’s how it breaks down:
Brief—Boobs and buns (also quick flashes of frontal)
Full—Boobs, buns, bush, flaccid penis
Explicit—Visible labia (i.e. “pink”) and/or erections
The Steamometer icon represents the overall temperature of the movie. How steamy does the sex get? Do the performers look like they’re into it? Do they show any genuine passion or chemistry? Are they just going through the motions? We award a rating of Cool, Mild, Warm, Hot or Scorching based on an overall average.
After we’ve factored in the nudity and steaminess, we assign an overall rating that takes everything into account, including any technical and/or production values:
Poor—Nothing worthwhile about this movie. Avoid.
Ok—Nothing great, maybe some eye candy.
Good—A few nice scenes, worth a look.
Very Good—Several hot scenes, definitely worth your time.
Excellent—Hot quality stuff, a must-see.
There are also half-stars awarded as required.