Softcore Reviews

Your opinion of the Tegn movies is always going to depend on how much slapstick comedy you can stomach with your hardcore sex. But if you’re willing to put up with a lot of silly face-making, and people getting hit over the head, you’ll be rewarded with two fun movies, some really classy production values, and a bevy of hot babes. And did I mention the hardcore?

There is not enough ninja porn. What’s more sexy than a ninja stealing into a woman’s bedroom under cloak of darkness to ravish her? Answer at the bottom of the review.

Secret Key has been coming out with these historical smut smorgasbords for a few years now, and we’re always happy to bring your attention to them. This particular collection, entitled “Swinging in the 70s” is not to be confused with the previously-reviewed “Skin in the 70s” collection. This one features three wife-swapping relics from 1970-71, rescued from the dustbin, if only just barely. But “Swinging” gets a reprieve for the inclusion of the entirely unknown and forgotten feature called “Harvey Swings.”

Unlike most other countries, the Danish mainstream film industry embraced hardcore moviemaking. It wasn’t banned, or driven underground, or left in the hands of “auteurs” with a camera and enough blow to keep their leading guys and gals on the set. Instead, there were movies with actual production values, actual decent acting featuring stars from mainstream Danish movies, and yes, actual sex.

What comes to mind when you think of Women In Prison movies?  Shower scenes. Cavity searches.  Sadistic wardens.  Icy female guards and perverted matrons.  Torture devices.  Beat-downs.  Hose-downs.  Cat fights.  And of course, the unspeakable lesbian love that inevitably results between prisoners who are forced to seek comfort and tenderness in each other’s arms.  Why [...]

Every decade or so, France seems to forget that women are sexual beings and the nation is shocked—shocked, I say!—by some woman’s autobiographical detailing of her sexual history. I suppose it started with The Story of O by “Pauline Reage” way back in the 1950s, and lord knows the softcore genre would be worse off [...]

Punk Rock‘s claim to fame is in its title. Porn schlockmeister Carter Stevens shot a low-budget policier in grimy 1977 New York and released it in hardcore porn theaters to not much notice.  However, with the popularity and fame of punk and new wave growing at CBGB’s, Stevens’ distributors felt they had a possible hit [...]